“I’m sorry,” or perhaps “fuck you.” I wanted to say, “I let you in and you abused that position of trust.” But no no no. I wanted to say, “kiss me please please, we can forget everything.”
Or maybe, maybe I just wanted to say, “I forgive you. You’re not sorry but I still forgive you.
Sure I loved him - too much. And he loved me, only not enough. I just want someone who thinks I’m number one in his life. I’m not willing to accept emotional scraps anymore.
i want someone who knows i always change the song when it’s almost over, that i will love my animals more than them but that doesn’t mean i don’t cherish them. someone who knows my aesthetic and can buy me a cute yellow shirt if they come across one. someone who loves my voice when i sing even though i can’t sing. someone who knows i love cooking but sometimes i don’t know what i’m doing so they help out but give me all the credit. some who knows i’ll stand up for them or a girl being called names bc of what she’s wearing and i don’t care if i make a scene. someone who knows i may wake up at 2am and clean and write and dance around while drawing bc why not? someone who knows all the baggage i come with and understands my anxiety but is there for me and loves me. someone who knows i can’t go to sleep without praying for everyone’s safety, so they pray with me. someone who gives me flowers and takes me to beautiful parks and brings a surprised picnic. someone who knows every little detail about me, my dislikes, my passions, and dreams, yet still is utterly in love with me and everything i stand for.